Cancer Cured

His Majesty's Government has reacted with understandable caution to the nagging of mere scientists about the health risk from processed meat. It was ten years ago today that the World Health Organisation classified the chemicals in processed bacon and ham as leading to inceased likelihood of bowel cancer, and some experts have so far forgotten their place as to recommend that the Department for Profitable Healthcare should take, of all things, bold action to put compulsory warnings on the packaging regardless of the effect on corporate profits and future directorships. Predictably, a ministerial spokesbeing was extruded to proclaim that it was all just a theory; one can only imagine the cost to His Majesty's Government, and to Wesley the Wideboy in particular, should the public suddenly wake up to the idea that bland yet persistent pink pigflesh might have unpleasant and even dangerous effects upon the unwary consumer.