Lords Reform

Having squealed and whined their way into vast numbers of local council seats, many patriotic cadres of the Farage Falange have found themselves disinclined to cope with the workload; hence it is only natural that the strutting Caudillo should squeal and whine for them to be placed in the House of Lords. Many peers dutifully bank their stipend while showing up nearly as often as the Caudillo himself holds surgery in happy little Clacton; and by the nature of our Mother of Democracies the Falange is eminently suited to rub ermines with such titans of public service as David Cameron's hairdresser and the nice young lady who did something unspecified to oblige Boris Johnson. As Team Starmer's resident constitutional expert, the Minister for Wog-Bombing and Profitable Genocide has dismissed the idea: partly on the peculiar grounds that the Caudillo wants to fill the Lords with his cronies, as if the Lords served any significant constitutional purpose other than precisely that; and partly on the moderate and sensible grounds that the Caudillo is an apologist for Tsar Vladimir rather than for the Trumpster and his head-tribble or for the Righteous State. Even so, the minions of the strutting Caudillo must surely be entitled to one or two places at the trough, if only in recognition of their extensive contributions to Team Starmer's rhetoric and practice on immigration and asylum.