Painful Swellings in the Great American Groin

Like many mediaeval societies, the southern United States suffers from endemic plague; and the Christian state of Arizona has confirmed a recent death from the pneumonic form of the disease. The woke scientific mind virus remains active enough for blame to be laid upon the Yersinia pestis bacterium rather than upon Iran, the Heathen Chinee, or the Deity's wrath concerning excessively free and easy attitudes to female bodily autonomy; and citizens have even been warned against the perils of excessive contact with rodents, insects, wild dogs and other natural-born vectors of Trumpsterism. Doubtless the head-tribble, with the aid of its court physician the Kennedy brainworm, is already working to ensure that such elementary medical errors are not repeated.