Cleaning Up

Those efficient people at Southern Water have joined other moisture provision profiteers in imposing a hosepipe ban, although doubtless some flexibility exists for consumers whose gardens can get by on raw sewage alone. In fact, so flexible are Southern Water that they have responded to a government prohibition on executive bonuses by awarding their fattest boardroom felid a double-cream fuck-the-plebs. A spokesbeing was extruded to proclaim, presumably with a straight face, that the wage inflation was merited because Southern Water have been doing such a wonderful job lately, and also that it wasn't really a bonus anyway because it was part of a long-term incentive scheme, actually. Whether any of the little people will be able to escape their thousand-pound fines under the rubric of tubular aqueous distribution systemics remains to be determined.