Another Monolithic Conspiracy

Sending people back where they came from may be no more than common sense, but property is a very different matter. It seems that a secretive and treacherous cabal is negotiating with a foreign power, and a party to the Strasbrussels dictatorship at that, regarding the possible return of the Parthenon sculptures to their country of origin. A lusty band of patriots, including the race-baiting historian David Starkey, the doll-eyed woodentop John Redwood, and the forty-nine-day blunder Liz Truss, has dispatched a stern letter to the Prime Minister, to the British Museum, and to the Secretary of State for Cultchah, Propaganda and Rah-Rah, demanding that any such negotiations be called off lest the beastly Euro-wogs forget who won the war. Whether the missive is in green ink or purple ink remains as yet undisclosed; as does the brand of lavatory paper on which it is inscribed. Still, in all fairness it must be acknowledged that the continued presence of Starkey, Redwood and La Truss in public life shows convincingly that present-day Britain does not have so many marbles left that it can afford to deport those few it still retains.