Still Special

It appears that Team Starmer's wheedling of the White House has brought better results even than the ten per cent tariff. The Trumpster and his head-tribble will be imposing deals in three phases, and they have excluded the mainland from the first phase until standards and taxes are sufficiently lowered from those demanded by the beastly Euro-wogs. A knowledgeable source revealed that, depending on how rapidly and thoroughly Team Starmer can make Brexit work, the UK's elimination from phase one leaves the door open for it to be ranked as either second-rate or third-rate.