Lowe Tactics

It appears that a dissident element may be forming amid the ironclad cadres of Farage Falange Incorporated. A certain Rupert Lowe, who recently demonstrated his faith in the Falange's accelerated ecocide policy by installing solar panels on his farm, has referred to the strutting Caudillo as a "messianic" figure and has declaimed to the Rothermere Daily Stürmer that the Falange must move on from being a protest party. Pausing only to grovel in his personal Gethsemane and pray to the Trumpster's head-tribble for the cup of Rupert Lowe's kiss to be passed elsewhere, the strutting Caudillo responded that the Farage Falange is not a protest party, actually. This of course is perfectly true: the Falange is not a party at all but a private company, and the strutting Caudillo's veer into the realms of unalloyed verity doubtless indicates the abysmal depths of his current discombobulation. The Falange's quota of Commons expenses claimants is not large, even when the strutting Caudillo can be bothered to put in an appearance; and the difficulties involved in forming a thousand-year shadow cabinet might well be exacerbated should Lowe defect to the Conservatives or Team Starmer, both of whom arguably have almost as many substantive disagreements with the strutting Caudillo as Lowe has himself.