Big Britbot is Watching You

Nowhere is Team Starmer's programme of stability within change more apparent than in its ambitions to transform the country into a world-beating auto-plagiarism hub without paying anyone, training anyone or improving anything. Water and energy costs will doubtless magically transform into things the government can subsidise, if not altogether annul, provided that the subsidies benefit squillionaire tech manbabies and not domestic consumers who ought to be out working. Equally, the Government's customary happy relationship with the Babbage computifying engines looks set to continue along the same rosy lines as its similarly cordial co-existence with experts, civil servants, and other bureaucratic inconveniences. A parliamentary committee has found that Team Starmer's efficiency drive is likely to be hindered by obsolete technology, bad data and a shortage of competent staff; which may prove difficult for the Government to remedy given its unswerving faith in the great British tradition of getting things done by sacking or driving away the people best qualified to do them. Confirming the stability of the changes to come, a spokesbeing shrugged that the Government already knew it all anyway and that it had a plan to let the plebs' interactions with the state be handled by apprentices and robots.