Moral Health

Given an electoral choice between maintaining the National Health Service and kicking some wogs, the great British public tends naturally to vote Conservative. Happily, the spirit of British fair play has ensured that in any case the choice need not be a dilemma. While recruiting foreign health workers to carry the can for substandard services, the UK has also removed from their countries of origin the gross materialistic temptations and the propensity towards idleness that go with receiving financial assistance. As one would expect, this trend was particularly pronounced during the second Bullingdon Club administration; and as one would expect, there is no sign that Team Starmer intends any mitigation beyond the usual rah-rah about the world-beating generosity of the master race. Under the reforming zeal of Wideboy Wesley, qualified personnel will soon doubtless be replaced by remote-working health custodians and AI symptom diagnosticators whose accents and facial pigmentation can be chosen by the individual healthcare consumer, thereby relieving the great British public of all unnecessary patriotic discomfort.