We're Safe For Now

Since the innate superiority of the British political vocabulary dictates that "overpopulated prison" is a contradiction in terms, patriots will rejoice that record numbers of protesters are being morally reformed this humbug season. Objectors to Zionist genocide and to the profitable destruction of human civilisation in general have alike received record sentences, so that incarceration for climate activism has joined wog-bombing and migrant-bashing among our more healthily growing industries. This seems jolly fortunate given that, according to Britain's leading liberal newspaper, at least two of the climate activists managed to throw tomato soup over a painting at the National Gallery rather than over the glass covering in front of it. Doubtless others among the fiends in our dungeons are possessed of still more sinister superpowers.