Yet More Conspirators Unmasked

Not even the most raunchily radioactive head-tribble can hope to control every movement of its minions every moment of the day, and it appears that the board of directors at Trumpster Media has committed a slight indiscretion. The company, which owns the amusingly double-misnomered Truth Social globberware platform, has provoked squeals of rage from its more patriotic staff by outsourcing jobs to the drug-dealing, cheerleader-ravishing Latino Untermenschen. Given the Trumpster's famously rigid consistency in principle, word and action, this can only mean that the saviour of the nation and protector of womenfolk whether they like it or not may soon be forced into slapping punitive tariffs on his own produce. Were it not for the Trumpsterite base voter's virtuous aversion to hormonal re-orientation in the face of mere reality, there might even be reason to anticipate the exquisitely poetic outcome of an election loss through insufficient racism.