Bah Reign Humbug

Patriots will rejoice at the persistence of British values in Bahrain, which gained independence half a century ago and yet has somehow managed to hold onto the bedrock decency that goes with a royal family, a no-nonsense attitude to human rights and a willingness to abet the master race's wog-bombing. King Charles has paid tribute to his royal counterpart's pluck and gumption by bestowing upon him the snappy title Honorary Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order: an appointment which combines mediaeval grandiosity with imperial pomposity in a fashion wholly befitting the highest-ranking gong in the Windsor firm's gift. News of the honour made headlines in Bahrain, but tidings on the mainland have been inexplicably muted; indeed, the award might never have gained any media attention at all in Britain if not for some malcontents agitating for its immediate removal. Clearly the master race still has much to learn from Bahrain about the suppression of dissent; in exchange for which the rulers of Bahrain might do worse than to emulate the Windsors in their modesty before the Press.