Slanderous Optimism

Difficult as it may be to believe given the robust state of reality around all matters concerning the US presidential election, it eppears that one of the candidates may have said the thing that is not. Among the more recent excretions of the head-tribble which were subsequently flatulated forth from the Trumpster's upper speechification sphincter was a pledge to protect women whether they like it or not: evidently by the usual method of subordinating their rights to the requirements of insensate cellular agglomerations, both those still resident in the uterus and those that should never have left it alive. The Trumpster's opponent opined that this chivalrous eructation was "offensive to everybody:" a blatant and presumably deliberate falsehood, since it is patently not offensive to Christian nationalists, Christian conservatives, Christian fundamentalists or Christian fascists. While the offence-taking capacities of such people are indubitably impressive, exceeding Matter in variety and rivalling Mind in futility, they do not stretch to moral indignation at limiting or abolishing the rights of women. Nor did Harris remain content with promulgating one dastardly deception. Owing no doubt to her own womanly predilections, she compounded the calumny against the Trumpster, his head-tribble and Baby Jesus by stating outright that the former president, of all things, "thinks about women and their agency."