Southern Fried Felons

Entrepreneurial moral values are turning the climate catastrophe to good American advantage in the Christian state of Texas, where prison inmates are being broiled in their cells because it's cheaper that way. Since killing people who haven't been sentenced to painful demise by experimental drug cocktail is arguably cruel and unusual even in the Christian state of Texas, a lawsuit is now in progress to determine whether the state should be compelled to dilute the all-important punitive aspect by air-conditioning the cells. Meanwhile, some eighty-five thousand prisoners could incur the spiritual benefit of heat-related chastisement this summer, including several who are likely to become quite otherworldly as a result. For its own part, the Texas Department of Cooking for Jesus has blamed summer fatalities on those underlying medical conditions which tend to deprive chronic dehydration and forty-degree heat of their customary invigorating effect.