Incredible Values, Wonderful Proportions

In the wake of the latest rah-rah by the strutting Caudillo emeritus of the Farage Falange, His Majesty's Government is naturally concerned to put clear blue water between acceptable and unacceptable Islamophobia. Shrewdly, it extruded a Foreign Office minister for the task, thus demonstrating from the outset exactly how British it considers British Muslims to be. The strutting Caudillo had proclaimed that forty-six per cent of British Muslims are Hamas supporters; which, given that the Righteous State itself has proclaimed that Hamas runs UNWRA and much of the world, may well be an underestimate. Even taken stricto sensu, the great man's words mean that fifty-four per cent of British Muslims do not support Hamas; and it was doubtless this über-Brexit majority to whom the minister referred when she gushed that a vast proportion of British Muslims, at least in the north-east of England, are wonderful and peace-loving and community-minded and probably understand almost every word real Britons say to them, including the word "proportion." Another and much smaller proportion does indeed wish to challenge British values, and it is this proportion which votes for the fiend Khan and his knife-crime syndicate, and goes around saying Allahu akhbar on protest marches that express an un-British hatred for ethnic cleansing. As an example of her own devotion to the values of the master race (freedom of speech and freedom of choice, both incredibly important and neither available elsewhere without a direct infusion of Britishness), the minister proceeded to defend teenage conscription and unpaid labour, with unspecified penalties for non-participation. What proportion of the Farage Falange may be quaking in its jackboots as a result remains as yet unclear.