The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, February 26, 2021

Journal of the Plague Year

continued, by a Gentleman

We heare much loud and traytorous Complayning, that Her Majesty's Government doth prize the Lives of its fiſcal Inferiors according to the Seniority of their Age, rather than by whether each Subject of the Realm be a School-maſter or a Governeſs. Alack, that the Day ſhould have dawned, when the Stoick Britiſhneſs of our Britiſhneſs would be ſullied by Sentiments of ſuch unpatriotick Puſillanimity! For it ſhould be cleare even unto the Underſtanding of the ſimpleſt Chylde, ſuch as the ſeventeen pin-headed Daughters of my Lord Splyce-Chyldebryde, that we muſt preſerve the Bleſsings of long accumulated Experience and Tradition, above all groſs materialiſtick Conſiderations of mere commercial Competence at procuring a Wage. I will wager, that there is to be found within the entyre Realm, ſcarecely a Governeſs who hath led a Troop of Horſe into Battel againſt the beaſtlie French; yet were one to take a Survey or Cenſus of the Quantity of purple-viſaged jowl-quivering Martyrs to the Gout which have achieved the ſame, there would be ſuch a Sufficiency of Sword-arms, as to reſtore forthwith to our American Colonies and all their uppity Niggers the ſweet uncompromiſing Truncheon of Statue-reſurrecting Amity.

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