The Curmudgeon


Sunday, June 18, 2017

Report from an Inquiry

Prime Minister, you're busy and we'll try to keep this short.
We're sorry you have waited fifteen years for this report.
We hoped to work for longer, as we recognise it's true
These verdicts turn out best when no-one's left alive to sue.
The cladding we found flammable, although we understand
It was the cheaper option, and was only slightly banned;
The fire brigades heroic and blah-blah, and what is more,
Quite likely more efficient than they might have been before.
It's true that certain persons warned the systems didn't suit;
But they were merely experts, and were qualified to boot.
Although with hindsight we might say there's cause for some regret,
The country must draw lines, and carry on and soon forget.
The mopping-up is nearly done, the rich folk on the mend,
The neighbourhood reformed, and all the protests at an end.
Those noisy types who fouled the Royal Borough with their row
Have all been relocated, so the streets are cleaner now.
And, though we lost some lower-class resources to the flame,
This isn't quite the sort of thing where anyone's to blame;
For even if we had some fool to send out and be shot,
The cost of prosecution might deprive him of his yacht.
We recommend that things be learned, as Government prefers;
And trust there'll be less fuss the next time all of this occurs.

The Barwell Commission


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