The Curmudgeon


Monday, October 24, 2016

Fruit Cake

Christian humility - the unassuming belief in an omnipotent, omniscient sky-daddy who created heaven and earth and all things therein, who begot a son upon mortal woman for the redemption of the sins of the world, and who also happens to share your virtuous personal distaste for what some people get up to in private - has taken another blow on the cheek (one of the upper ones, we must piously hope), but shows no sign as yet of giving up cloak as well as coat or of going two miles when asked to go one. The born-again Christian has not been delivered who can recognise his baser motives or repent his self-righteousness; hence the legal battle in question has never been merely about one objectively disordered cake, but only and always about the moral danger of promoting an anti-Biblical message that might cause bother to the Almighty. Accordingly, the case of the Northern Irish Christian Cake-wrights versus the Forces of Legalised Sodomy looks set to drag on yet further, the soldiers of God having been defeated in the Belfast court of appeal. "This ruling undermines democratic freedom, religious freedom and freedom of speech," complained the martyr, whose idea of freedom of speech incorporates breach of contract, sexual discrimination and censorship by confectionary. A further appeal will be mounted, doubtless in all due chastity, at the supreme court in London, presumably in the hope that the Government will have managed to abolish a few more human rights by the time judgement is pronounced.


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