The Curmudgeon


Thursday, August 21, 2014

Frenzied Moments

Fury at filth on Four

Channel Four has been forced to defend itself against charges of pornography over an explicit drama which it plans to screen in the run-up to next year's general election.

Coalition will explore the "emotionally wrought, politically-charged and often frenzied moments" which led Nick Clegg to publicly sacrifice his virtue in a rose garden during the spring of 2010.

Along with its sex scenes, the 90-minute drama will show the decision-making process which led Clegg to throw out his party's policies on proportional representation, tuition fees and civil liberties, and sign up to half a decade of kicking the poor, privatising the NHS, bashing immigrants and squabbling with Europe.

Although the script contains explicit scenes of Clegg and his party colleagues humping the Prime Minister's leg and ejaculating over their little red boxes, the makers have denied that the film will be pornographic. "It's a very passionate and romantic story, but it's all very tastefully done," said production executive Rennard Groper.

However, Channel Four did not deny that there have been some difficulties finding actors for the lead roles. It is thought that Andy Serkis turned down the role of Cameron because of the numerous heavy-duty purple rubber dewlaps whcih he would need to wear on his face, neck, chest, stomach and buttocks.

The casting of Clegg has also been problematic. "Actors by their nature tend to be charismatic, attention-getting types," said one executive who asked to remain anonymous. "It isn't easy to find an actor who can convey Clegg's presence and personal substance and still register on a standard visual medium."


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