The Curmudgeon


Wednesday, June 05, 2013

Great Chaps Writing About Great Chaps Doing Great Things

Having no more pressing tasks for the foreseeable future, the London Haystack has decided to give the Gove-Ferguson™ history syllabus a bit of a boost and remedy the chronic shortage of books about Winston Churchill. Of course, biographer and subject have much in common, quite apart from their passionate adoration for the sound of their own respective voices. Churchill, like the London Haystack, was a jumped-up hard-right journalist from a rich family who was not averse to stabbing his chums in the back when expediency seemed to call for it. Unlike Churchill, the London Haystack is not on record as having suffered from depression, and it will no doubt be interesting to some whether he believes the great man should have pulled himself together by getting more money off the taxpayer or by getting himself off with a Petronella, or perhaps even both. The London Haystack intends his opus as a rebuttal of "Marxist historians who think history is the story of vast and impersonal economic forces"; it is as yet unclear how the market theologians in the British Neoliberal Party's three right wings will react to being tarred with the M-brush, but they will doubtless be reassured by the story's moral, which the biographer has been kind enough to release in advance. "The point ... is that one man can make all the difference" and win Britain's most uncontroversially jolly war, despite the miserly contributions of the USSR, the English-speaking peoples and their subject races.


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