The Curmudgeon


Thursday, February 21, 2013

Securing the Future

With a by-election defeat quite possible thanks to the idiocy of the Conservative candidate, and with the humiliation of the defeat likely to be compounded by the Conservative candidate's opponents having been merely John O'Farrell and the Liberal Democrats, Daveybloke has been taking prudent precautions against the vicissitudes of fortune and the whims of all those braying oafs and junior blue-rinsers whom he has dragged along thus far on his wonderful journey. Daveybloke has decided that some of Britain's aid budget should be spent on "peacekeeping defence operations"; partly because he hopes this will pacify the back benches by conflating foreign aid with wog-bombing, and partly because his sideline as a shill for arms dealers looks likely to develop from a pleasant hobby to a full-time occupation should the electorate happen to realise by 2015 exactly how much better off Daveybloke and his chums have made us all. A spokesbeing said that the aid budget would be used to fund "security, demobilisation and peacekeeping", which the defence budget as it stands apparently cannot cover, in spite of Trident and all the practice we've had in Iraq and points east. Daveybloke took a moment to burble sweet nothings about Justine Greening, one of his few remaining token females and the minister whose department is joining the paramilitaries; and Daveybloke praised the Department for International Development for working incredibly closely with the Foreign Office and the Ministry for Adam Werritty. Apparently the Department for International Development used to think itself "a sort of giant NGO", working towards silly things like international development. Now, however, there is no doubt in anyone's mind that the Department for International Development works for Daveybloke, Rupert and the arms dealers, though not necessarily in that order.


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