The Curmudgeon


Saturday, November 03, 2012

A Social Storm

A Robust Libertarian, who had spent the past fifty-seven years demanding greater financial incentives for legal tax evasion, awoke to find a Hurricane pulling the roof from his house.

"What do you think you are doing?" demanded the Robust Libertarian. "This house was built in accordance with universal moral values, and entirely free of government regulation. Cease and desist this moment, lest I set one of my tame Climate Scientists upon you."
"You and your tame Climate Scientists," replied the Hurricane, juggling tiles, "have contributed much to my strength and ferocity, and I am duly obliged; but I cannot show any favouritism on that account. I am not a politician, you know."

Morally indignant at the Hurricane's lack of respect for basic values, the Robust Libertarian ordered a passing Market Force to allow itself to be manipulated for the protection of the deserving.
"I fear I cannot help you," said the Market Force; "for I am the product of a Thoroughly Financialised Economy, and must labour day and night herding the manufacturing sector towards oblivion."

As the Hurricane lifted the roof entirely away, dropping dormer windows among the flower-beds and not caring a bit, the Robust Libertarian fled to the cellar, which he had hitherto eschewed as a location unnaturally restrictive to his freedom of action. There he appealed to God, promising to do all he could to ensure the prosperity of the church and the frugality of the poor, if only his life were saved.

There he remained, quavering piously, until government agents dug him out from beneath the ruins; whereupon he berated them for their interference with the workings of the private sector, which would certainly have rescued him faster had its profit margins permitted.


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