Not Bigoted, Just Different

In another brilliant victory for the Deputy Conservatives, Wee Nicky has angered several professionally-incensed persons, including Lord Carey of Blathering-in-the-Dotage and the reliably osteocephalic Peter Bone, by editing his own speech to suit their delicate sensibilities. In the version first released to the press, Wee Nicky referred to opponents of gay marriage as "bigots"; this version was then hurriedly amended and roundly denounced as an "early draft" which should never have been released, never have seen the light of day, never have been written down or thought of, and which is even now being torn into slightly larger than bite-sized chunks and forcibly fed to Danny Alexander. A spokesbeing for Wee Nicky proclaimed that the original version "is not something he was ever going to say, because it is not something that he believes"; a remarkable statement in more ways than one, quite aside from its abject failure to staunch the foaming indignation of the homophobes. The idea that Wee Nicky, of all people, might refuse to say something just because he didn't consider it true is nearly as intriguing as the idea that people who think gays have fewer rights than the rest of us are somehow not bigoted. Be that as it may, the bigots in Wee Nicky's speech were amended to "some people", because bigots are people too, after all; particularly when they are the sort of bigots on whom one must depend for one's continued possession of a little red box.