The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Terror Horror Fury

Fury at terror horror

The war on terror was brought within measurable distance of its end today as a former head of MI6 claimed that the Islamic terrorist terror of terrorist Islamic terrorism may be within measurable distance of the end of the war on terror.

Al-Qaida is facing a "crisis of credibility", Sir Richard Dearlove told a terrified London focus group under the leadership of a Conservative time-server.

The terrorist organisation of Islamic terrorists was almost as disgusted by the Arab Spring as leaders in the West, Dearlove said. However, Al-Qaida has fewer resources with which to hinder the emergence of democracy and has not been able to call on NATO for help since the Russians left Afghanistan.

Dearlove courted controversy by implying that not all Afghan foreign fighters fighting foreigners in Afghanistan were members of the terrorist organisation, and arguing that the proportion of security resources currently devoted to the war on terror ought to be reduced.

Delegates hid under tables and painted their contact lenses white as Dearlove painted a harrowing picture of a world with 70% fewer Halliburton contracts.

In such a scenario, military civilian resources would be deployed almost entirely for public order purposes at domestic anti-cuts demonstrations and the Olympics, with all the health-and-safety red tape that would imply.

Nevertheless, despite the end of the war on terror, the real war on terror could be just beginning as Al-Qaida "franchises or surrogates" were increasingly active, according to intelligence sources.


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