The Curmudgeon


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Creative Differences

A Brilliant Postmodernist, who had spent his life synthesising philosophical and pop-cultural motifs into Intertextual Metafictions to remind those who already knew it that a work of fiction is not necessarily true and has more than one possible interpretation, expired from a surfeit of abstract nouns and applied for admittance to Heaven. However, St Peter on checking the register discovered that the Brilliant Postmodernist was not listed among the creations of God and thus was ineligible to be granted entry.

"Shall I, then, return to earth?" asked the Brilliant Postmodernist, to whom the thought of resuming his successful and lucrative career was not altogether anathema. Furthermore, he was aware of his preference in this direction, and was also aware of his awareness.

"The earth has continued upon its contingent course," St Peter answered him, "and only those with appropriate family connections are permitted to return there after death."

The Brilliant Postmodernist was so annoyed that he almost forgot to maintain an ironic distance from his annoyance; but at that moment an ink-spattered apparition, from whose wings the quills had nearly all been plucked, approached St Peter and whispered in his ear.

"I have good news: your origins have been traced," the saint informed the Brilliant Postmodernist. "Our Recording Angel tells me that you are in fact the creation of a Curmudgeonly Satirist, who now resides in the other place. You had better look him up."

So the Brilliant Postmodernist made his way to Hell, where the Curmudgeonly Satirist was holding a riotous party. The bouncers there failed to recognise the existence of any relationship between the Brilliant Postmodernist and his creator; and they proceeded to dissect, deconstruct and permutate him into Ultimate Nothingness while an aspect of befuddled satisfaction struggled manfully over the Curmudgeonly Satirist's inebriated yet beautiful visage.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home