The Curmudgeon


Friday, July 16, 2010

As Bad As That

The Roman Catholic church comprises over a thousand million people, but only a few hundred thousand - possibly only a few tens of thousands - have shaken its dust from their souls in disgust at the priestly privileges of sadism and rape and the failure of the sixteenth Daddy Goodspeak to maintain the less discreet in the manner to which they are accustomed. Fortunately, the church's leaders have taken resolute and decisive action to facilitate a more widespread and principled exodus. In order to demonstrate how seriously it takes the moral aspect of the scandal, the Vatican has issued a revision of a decree on the procedure for defrocking priests. The revision allows for rapid and economical undressing in urgent cases; ranks abuse of the "mentally disabled" with that of minors; and forbids clergymen to acquire, possess or disclose pornography unless the models are fourteen years old or more. In case any doubt should remain as to the depth and sincerity of the Vatican's response to the paedophilia scandal, the document categorises sexual abuse of minors as an offence equivalent in gravity to the attempted ordination of women. A more graphic indication of the horror with which the Vatican would like to be seen as seeing child molestation can hardly be conceived. The question of whether the attempted ordination of women is the fault of secularists, Freemasons, journalists, homosexuals or the Jews will doubtless be investigated in due course.


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