The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Victory in Europe

I am sure we all remember William Hague, Daveybloke's nuncio to Belize who took such a firm but fair stance with regard to Lord Ashcroft's tax status while they were jetting romantically around the world together in search of new and interesting ways to make people happy. Hague's performance in that role was so exemplary that it is still not clear whether he is a fool or a crook; so he has been permitted to remain as Daveybloke's Minister for Frogs, Wogs and Huns in order to prove himself one way or the other. A draft letter written in the throes of a premature electoral ejaculation may not exactly settle the question, and certainly says nothing we didn't know before about Conservative policy towards the EU; but it does hint that the Liberal Democrats might not have quite so many oodles of things in common with the cuddlies as Daveybloke simperingly hinted the other day. Amid a flurry of Boy Scout clich├ęs - firm but fair, playing a leading role, fighting our corner and, of all things, practical and straight-talking - Hague puts Brussels in its place, demands the inalienable British right to opt the country out of any bits of any treaty Norman Tebbit doesn't happen to care for, and under the rubric of "engagement not confrontation" informs our partners in Europe that they have five years to agree; less if Daveybloke should find it expedient to call an election before then; Or Else. Of course the letter was drafted by civil servants and of course, despite its remarkable similarity to the xenophobic cant which passes among the cuddlies for a foreign policy (not to mention a domestic policy), the Conservatives have no knowledge of it at all. Imagine that.

4 Comments:

  • At 3:05 am , Blogger Paul said...

    Had I drafted a letter as rambling, cliched and unfocussed as that one when I worked in Whitehall, I would have been firmly but fairly told to seek another career.

     
  • At 12:22 am , Blogger Philip said...

    So there really was a time - other than the Time of Legends - when English was spoken in Whitehall?

     
  • At 1:10 am , Blogger Paul said...

    Drafting advice to Ministers was one of the most important skills to acquire. In Hague's drivel one cannot easily discern to whom he is writing, which parts are addressing Ministers and which are intended for the wogs.

     
  • At 12:43 pm , Blogger phil said...

    Does a more muscular approach to Bosnia in any way resemble Greco-Roman wrestling?

     

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