The Curmudgeon


Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Falklands 2.0

The US Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, has taken on the mantle of the late Alexander Haig, who intervened so effectively to stop the last Falklands War.

As part of its commitment to sustainable energy, Britain has started drilling for oil in the islands' waters, causing Argentina to revive the 1982 conflict when Britain's former friend and trading partner General Galtieri had his brief moment as the new Hitler.

Galtieri was later superseded in the role by Colonel Gadafi of Libya, now a friend of civilisation and favoured recipient of asylum seekers.

The Falklands War was a career milestone for then British prime minister Margaret Thatcher, whose cutbacks in the islands' defences enabled Argentina to invade, provoking comparisons with the Official Greatest Ever British Number One Briton Ever, Winston Churchill.

Argentina is militarily weak and has no nuclear deterrent, which makes it an ideal target for whatever machismo British leaders have left over from Iraq and Afghanistan.

During the 1982 war, British troops were killed and maimed by Exocet missiles, which the media called "French-made Exocets" and American-made Skyhawk jets, which the media called "Skyhawk jets".

Despite later becoming a democracy under the auspices of the IMF, Argentina has never renounced its claim to the islands and persists in referring to them as Las Malvinas.

It is not anticipated that the presence of oil rigs in the islands' waters would disincentivise British denials that any upcoming war was "all about oil".


  • At 8:11 pm , Anonymous darjeeling junkie said...

    If there really is a massive oil field there,and our government wants to give the go ahead for it to be dug up and sold so it can be burnt,what WTF does that say about our governments attitude to climate change? In this economic climate we cannot aford a future?
    I'm sorry,but I'm with the subhuman gaucho vermin on this one.

    I beg your pardon.My butt does not Hum.

  • At 8:21 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    What do you think the Argies want it for? Building windmills on the Pampas to chop the corned beef finer? Surely it is better for all that nasty, pollutive stuff to be held in trust by an honest broker with a golden history of civilised values and the occasional aircraft carrier. (Do we have any aircraft carriers now? Or have they been merged with the submarine fleet to save money?)

  • At 9:55 am , Blogger tjerk said...

    The oil could also be used to fuel the material that is going to be used to safeguard the oil which is going to be used to fuel the material that is going to be used to safeguard the oil.


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