The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

The Tired Party Line

A Tired Party Line, finding itself exhausted by the number of Ministers which clung to its tattered remnants, applied to a Doctor of Spin for some revolutionary revitalisation.

"What appears to be the problem?" asked the Doctor of Spin, once the Tired Party Line had struggled through all the newspapers in his waiting room.

"I have been the Party Line at the Ministry for Expedient Starvation for more than three years now," said the Tired Party Line; "and the Prime Minister's humane and enlightened policy of sycophanto-elevatory dynamism means that I have been adhered to with ever-increasing rigour and scrupulousness. As a result I am wearing extremely thin in places, and I feel that a holiday would not go amiss."

The Doctor of Spin examined the Tired Party Line carefully and observed that, indeed, it had become so worn that the voters would have found it virtually transparent, had any of them still been paying it attention.

"You speak no more than the truth," said the Doctor of Spin, "which is in itself an extremely worrying development. It would be healthier if the Ministers did not cling to you so much; that is what has caused your substance to become depleted. With future Party Lines we must allow Ministers to utilise their natural adhesiveness, which means we shall be able to economise on the substance."

And, taking out his favourite rotatory scalpel, he chopped up the Tired Party Line and recycled it as sound bites.

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