The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Mad Dog Brought to Heel

North Africa trembles as Brown makes presence felt on international stage

Colonel Gaddafi, the mad dog turned Tony-crony, was reportedly quaking in his boots today after receiving a letter from Gordon Brown, who has temporarily assumed the office of British prime minister while Lord Mandelson is in hospital having his genitals reduced to a more manageable size.

As the threat of perestroika caused anxiety in the Reagan administration in the mid-1980s, Gaddafi's Libya was high on the shortlist for the mantle of Pentagon Great Satan, along with the dagger pointed at the heart of Texas, Nicaragua.

However, under Tony Blair's premiership Britain reached out to Libya and agreed to take Gaddafi's word that Libyan asylum seekers whom Britain chose to deport would not be tortured once they arrived back in Libya.

A demonstration of non-torture for Abdelbaset al-Megrahi, the man convicted of the Lockerbie bombing, apparently got out of hand in Tripoli last night, prompting Gordon Brown to send a letter which was "very short and to the point". A more long-winded and meandering missive is probably being held in reserve in order to protect Arab sensibilities, sources said.

Megrahi was released from British custody on compassionate grounds. The British Secretary for Lesser Breeds, David Miliband, has said that it would be a slur upon New Labour's long record of principled compassion in general, and upon David Miliband's in particular, to imply that any commercial or diplomatic interests were considered for a moment.

As a result of Megrahi's welcome in Tripoli, it is now unlikely that Prince Andrew will attend the celebrations next month of the fortieth anniversary of the Libyan revolution, or the mad dog's coup d'├ętat as it was known before the Blair clarifications.

If there are further breaches of decorum, it is thought that sanctions even more serious than the absence of Prince Andrew will be considered.

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