What it Says on the Tin

I yield to nobody in my appreciation of nominative determinism, but even the best things in life can arguably be carried too far; as witness the fact that one of the lesser parliamentary appendages of the Farage Falange has selected a certain Joshua Bonehill-Paine as its local election candidate. A sometime "nationalist, fascist, theorist and supporter of white rights," the honourable gentleman has now been morally reformed and restored, and runs a satirical online account which has cast a favourable light upon Kemi Badenoch. Self-evidently it would be difficult to get more satirical than that; but the convert's name - his real name, apparently - gives its all in the attempt. His surname's first barrel resounds with the electoral graveyard, while its second evokes both the standard Conservative solution for social ills and the standard somatic response to the party's current campaigning prowess. His middle names, Mark and John, evoke two of the Gospellers, whose factual scrupulosity rivals that of almost any modern politician; his first name is shared with the génocidaire of Canaan, as well as with his illustrious New Testament counterpart who consigned all but His own followers to the eternal fire. Even a portfolio full of "Home Office counter-extremism certificates" seems rather a minor credential compared to a monicker like that.