New Toys, Or Else

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that no government department, from public health through education to social security, can ever be efficientised by throwing more money at it; and that the sole exception to this rule is the Ministry for Wog-Bombing. Team Starmer has apparently undergone a few ructions over the latest requirements, which involve cuts of one per cent, on top of the vandalism perpetrated by the Conservatives and their Liberal Democrat accomplices, from departments less efficient than the one which procured the Ajax bone-shaker and which favours combat aircraft so pathetically vulnerable that they are seriously endangered when the pilot is distracted by a bright light. The Ministry for Wog-Bombing had initially claimed that its pledges were fully costed, but the prices went up substantially when various conflicts unexpectedly broke out even with the Trumpster and his head-tribble in the White House and the Netanyahoo facing legal proceedings. In any case, it would hardly be fair or British to expect that a defence ministry would compile its departmental budget while anticipating the prospect of war.