High-Priced Talent

As the incumbent clutcher of an office of state recently held by Boris Johnson, any Minister for Wogs, Beads and Trinkets has a large pair of clown-shoes to fill. Doubtless it was this feeling of the hand of history on his crotch that motivated the Minister for Misnomer to add yet another ludicrousness to a persona which a lesser statesman might have thought sufficiently risible already. Toddling about the Caribbean and Latin America to highlight "tackling the climate crisis, upholding democracy and human rights and securing free and open supply chains of critical minerals," though not necessarily in that order, Cleverly availed himself of "the crème de la crème of private business jets," a flying luxury hotel suite with a Johnson-sized bed, a big-screen TV, and a five-figure hourly charter price. Fortunately for the softness of British power, the last will be enjoyed by the taxpayer alone.