Something Dirty in the Loft

Since the jabbering homunculus Michael Gove has proclaimed that the nanny state should prevent the little people from smoking, his taxpayer-funded smoking bunker will come as no surprise. Previously, as part of his ritual humiliation under the second Bullingdon Club régime, Gove was consigned to a broom cupboard at the rear end of the Cabinet Office, where he "worked" as Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster: a role which lists "Propriety and Ethics" among its responsibilities, and is therefore held in such casual contempt as to be occupied at present by Oliver Dowden, CBE. However, shortly before Gove was shunted to the Secretaryship of State for Regional Tokenism he was rather rudely treated by some people who had had enough of experts; which self-evidently entitled him to his own private homunculus-hutch. It remains as yet unclear whether emphysema and lung cancer will so far demean themselves as to lend their presence to a respiratory system so deeply implicated in his half-century of jabbering.