Gutter Politics

Fittingly enough for the ever more fragrant coprocracy that is the British Conservative and Unionist Party, in 2022 over twenty years' worth of cabinet ministers descended upon the constituencies of some of the Government's most solid lumps of raw sewage. Those who have the honour to be represented by the former Minister for Richard Desmond, Robert Jenrick, were splurged with 4438 hours of concentrated Conservative policy; while those who bask in the honourable membership of the wog-hunting Mark Harper were splattered in quantities suggesting a Home Secretary or a speech by the National Johnson. In keeping with the poetic spirit of the enterprise, the largest quantities of political substance were directed at those represented by the Minister for Workfare and Poverty, the Official Class Bully, and the Prime Minister, whose personal arrangements with local electricity suppliers will doubtless ensure that he suffers no undue inconvenience.