More Brexit Benefits

Having voted enthusiastically for British independence from the beastly Euro-wogs, residents of Kent are experiencing a degree of mug's remorse. In the first flush of rah-rah at being liberated from the Nazi-Soviet yoke of Strasbrussels, a processing complex was erected to enforce the new deregulated régime and throw back any imports from Europe that were insufficiently debased. However, the Government's gradual retreat from its initial ambitions of North Korean autarky supported by British Virgin Islands standards of fiscal probity has meant that the 230-acre complex is now serving as a quarantine centre for Ukrainian pets and lacks even the patriotic dignity of a Home Office child depository for the convenience of local business. Indignant locals have gone so far as to label it a white elephant and to complain of wasted money; which may be a little hasty, since it remains as yet unclear to what extent the funds for its construction and maintenance have benefited contractors linked to the Conservative Party.