Cleanliness is for Little People

Mere weeks after his jabbering homunculus sanctioned the opening of a new coal mine, Fishy Rishi has further burnished Britain's environmental rectitude by travelling two hundred miles on a private jet. The idea was to publicise a pledge to fund extra care home beds to the tune of £200 million, although it remains as yet unclear how many beds the Party donor who eventually gets the contract will consider themselves morally obliged to supply. Instead of a healthy rah-and-blah, Fishy Rishi's choice of transport has brought loud and righteous censure from opposition parties and from Labour, who all seem to think the railway a safe place to play for an organism barly worldly enough to navigate a contactless card payment. Surprisingly enough considering the gratuitous use of an RAF jet which might be better occupied fending off the Russian Bear or protecting plucky little Formosa from the Heathen Chinee, none of the Conservative Party's more forthright inmates has yet registered their indignation.