Looming Threat

Britain is to be invaded by an eleven-foot Turkish golem girl asylum seeker, which will spend twelve weeks from 27 July tramping across Europe from the Syrian border. The giant stealer of British jobs is part of a vast project involving art installations, performances and events designed to show that Europeans will occasionally welcome undrowned refugee children as long as they keep on walking. Propelled by a swarming horde of puppeteers, the crowder-out of native stock will eventually fetch up in Manchester where a breeding colony has been established. It remains as yet unclear what plans the Ministry for Wog Control has hatched for the peril's destruction, but doubtless they are working on it.