Swarming Hordes

Thanks to the climate emergency and the head-chopping House of Saud's continuing rampage in Yemen, locust swarms are increasing across the Arabian peninsula and eastern Africa. Climate change has produced an increase in cyclones, which in turn produce favourable breeding conditions for our little brown chums; meanwhile, the once central locust control organisation in Yemen has undergone a few efficiency savings because of the war. As the UK returns at last to its long-lost birthright of rationing and rah-rah, patriots will certainly be proud to know that the nation's staunch support for the head-chopping House of Saud has favoured the fecundity of a species well known for the Anglo-Saxon stoicism of its shopping habits.