United in Pragmatism

I am sure we all rejoice with Tumbledown Tessie, who has been granted that sublime democratic privilege of those expunged from high office: the opportunity to show up their successor. Having been the successor to Britain's glistening pink Head Boy, the dead-eyed warden herself was spared the sharp end of this ritual: Daveybloke is nothing if not lazy, and once his privileges were withdrawn he couldn't get out of Big School fast enough. The dead-eyed warden belongs to the obsessively, rather than casually, brutish wing of the party, and has a work ethic to match her bigotry; not that the task of humiliating her successor was made more difficult by the fact that her successor was Dominic Raab. Being Tumbledown Tessie, who liked to threaten the beastly Euro-wogs with terminating Britain's shared security arrangements, she naturally chose to criticise Raab on the grounds of endangering Britain's shared security arrangements with the beastly Euro-wogs; but Raab was too scared or too stupid even to throw that back at her. Instead he scuttled ignominiously for the centre ground by raising the spectre of free movement: if there is one thing on which Tumbledown Tessie and her hated usurpers can find common, if not positively vulgar ground, it is that no amount of law and order can justify allowing mere immigrants to behave like expatriate workers.