In Other News

Mere scientists in the Antarctic have discovered that the Thwaites glacier is more vulnerable to melting than previously thought, being about the size of the UK and with only slightly more solid foundations. The glacier's collapse would expose much more of the region to warmer waters, and could precipitate global sea-level rises which would drown various major cities, though not of course their owners. This no doubt explains why the research was considered worthy of mention, however brief, in Britain's free and cantankerous Press. It remains as yet unclear whether Her Majesty's Government will welcome the extra freedom of movement for Britain's fish, or send out some silly Cnut to order the waters to retreat.