Ever Wider Hostility

Few criminals, even foreign criminals, are more insidious than those who haven't got around to committing any crimes; so British patriots will note with gladness and relief the Government's extension of the hostile environment to immigrants who don't live in Britain. An Indian who was brazen enough to work, pay taxes and even help the homeless in the UK was sent a Wogs Go Home letter from the Home Office, despite having sneaked off to Germany during the very centenary of Britain's victory in the First World War. Had a friend not been living at his former address and picked up the letter, he might easily have gained a criminal record and been deported from the EU: although Her Majesty's Government clearly considers mere give and take a filthy foreign habit unworthy of a trading nation, in cases of dusky complexion the Ministry for Wog Control might condescend to stretch a point. In this case, however, it appears the necessary moral fibre was lacking. After only a little more than a month, a Ministry underling oozed out the usual subjunctive apology "for any inconvenience this may have caused," since the sensibilities of the Asiatic swarms have yet to prove themselves refined enough to be inconvenienced in objective reality. By way of recompense, Her Majesty's Government granted its magnanimous permission, should he choose to accept it, for the culprit to return to the UK and place himself once more at the Ministry's mercy.