Doing Well By Doing Good

We are all aware, because that Churchillian historiographer Boris Johnson has proclaimed it, that the real "tragedy of Africa" was the white man being forced to lay down his burden too soon. Fortunately for the piccaninny powers, the Johnson administration is ready to make due restitution for the world-historical error of decolonisation, which was forced upon the civilising nations by noisy welfare-state lefties and the Nazi-Soviet appeasers in the Brusso-Strasbourgian Politbunker. This very week the People's Haystack opened an investment summit with a rah-and-blah about sending electro-convulsive lightning bolts through the renewables industry, which he evidently considers ripe for lobotomy. Meanwhile, the Dark Continent is to be taught the rudiments of extracting oil and gas, to be used of course in the cleanest and greenest way possible given current economic realities and the requirements of market forces. Token funding of a few clean energy projects can safely be left to that perennial mark, the British taxpayer, who will soon be righteously demanding why that rather pitiful fifty million couldn't have been spent on preventing floods in Brexitannia or deporting more wogs.