They Really Don't Deserve Us

Next month sees the centenary of that glorious day in the Great War when the Kingdom of Italy, the Nick Clegg of the Triple Alliance, finally pitched in with Team Good Guys and declared war on its erstwhile ally Austria-Hungary. It is as yet unclear what celebrations are planned; possibly because of some lasting reservations about Italian moral fibre. Only this week, for example, nearly five hundred British jobs have been saved in the Mediterranean; yet the Italian navy persists in perpetuating the unintended pull factor which invariably results when brown people are not properly incentivised with buccaneering British pluck. The British Government, of course, contributed enormously to rescue operations in the Mediterranean by wog-bombing Libya and thoroughly demoting the Reverend Tony's chum Colonel Gaddafi so that the Big Society could take over. Unfortunately, it appears that too many natives still lack the entrepreneurial gumption to prefer their new, free and happy lives to the risk of death by drowning.