But Will There Be Tough?

The Ministry for Profitable Incarceration has sneaked through a contract with a foreign company for the UK's first "titan prison", a vast human warehouse first proposed under the kidnap-and-torture régime of New Labour, and subsequently designed to ensure that any attempt by a future government to cancel the project would result in severe and uncompromising punishment for the taxpayer. Fortunately, an incoming government from the other wing of the British Neoliberal Party would be open to other possibilities, provided only that they were punitive enough. The shadow Minister for Profitable Incarceration, Sadiq Khan, claims that he would cancel plans for a new "secure college" (child warehouse, in Oldspeak), partly because it wouldn't cost anything, but mainly on the grounds that the institution "would do little to punish and reform young offenders".