The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Of Such is the Kingdom of Heaven

Malicious and backsliding persons on the staff of Save the Children are protesting the charity's presentation of its global legacy award to the Ascended Incarnation of the Reverend Blair, who by pure coincidence has a couple of chums on the board. The presentation was made by the US arm of the charity, presumably because the American sense of humour is more developed than the British; the pretext was a couple of summits which Tony hosted during his ministry, focusing on debt relief for those countries too poor to be bombed into freedom. At one of the summits, at Gleneagles in 2005, world leaders pledged to "Make Poverty History" which, as we all know, has turned out nearly as well as Tony's evolutionist approach to democratising Kazakhstan and his seven years' envoying of peace in the Middle East. "Throughout all human history, never has been extinguished that relentless, unquenchable desire to do good. To act not only in self-interest and sometimes to even to act in defiance of it," proclaimed his reverence, evidently in autobiographical mode; while the children of Iraq who gave their lives in the crusade for democracy looked down from heaven with pride and joy at their earthly brothers and sisters relentlessly, unquenchably seeking virtuous employment with Islamic State.


  • At 12:20 pm , Blogger Richard T said...

    It's a sad reflection of the decline of the papacy since the Reformation and Renaissance, that no Pope has been powerful enough to defy the scoffers and canonise Tony Blair. Alexander VI for example would have known what to do even without a pourboire from Drawing All Faiths Together. Suitably aided, doubtless St Anthony would have been able to by pass the tiresome Vatican bureaucratic requirements for miracles and the like and sail through to what would be his just reward on earth as well as heaven.

  • At 7:38 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    The speed and efficiency with which heavenly honours are bestowed have greatly increased in recent decades; but I wonder if mere canonisation would be enough to satisfy Tony's powers of modesty. Most likely he's waiting for Junior to shove over a bit and make room on that right-hand seat in Heaven.


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