The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Friday, October 03, 2014

Victory in Afghanistan

Still in full-on Big School Assembly rah-rah mode, and fresh from being allowed to start a nice new war in Iraq, Britain's Head Boy has had a bit of a burble at his brave boys in Afghanistan. British soldiers are being pulled out of Afghanistan, after a war of pure self-defence (akin to stopping the "Prussian domination of Europe" a century ago, rather than to anything that might have occurred during the Great Game) which has cost the lives of four hundred and fifty-three Britons and, no doubt, a few less significant persons as well. Daveybloke burbled that al-Qaida had been formed in Afghanistan, rather than among his chums in Saudi Arabia, and had now been driven from its safe havens, which explains why peace is breaking out all over the Middle East. Daveybloke burbled that the number of terrorist attacks which are plotted in Afghanistan or Pakistan and then do not happen in Britain has fallen from nine out of ten to "somewhere near half" since the Bullingdon Club took over. Daveybloke burbled that combat resources should put "for your tomorrow we gave our today" on their CVs so that they can take all due advantage of the Conservatives' nation fit for heroes. Daveybloke burbled that Britain's glorious military achievements in Afghanistan will live for ever; a thousand years can be a short time in right-wing politics, but hopefully there will be no blatant embarrassments until after next May, not least because Daveybloke also burbled that there would be no leaving of Johnny Afghan to his own devices. Before the troops went in, the Taliban were lurking in their strongholds and there were frequent suicide bombings; today the Taliban are lurking in their strongholds and there are frequent suicide bombings, so the situation certainly appears quite robust.

3 Comments:

  • At 10:13 am , Anonymous Dave said...

    I saw the 'angry bit' of his speech, complete with ever expedient Ivan and thought of you. HOW DARE!!! anyone accuse him of fucking with the NHS in order to destroy it, HOW DARE THEY !!!!

     
  • At 12:45 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Did he go Angry Puce at the time? Usually Danny Alexander waits in the wings with a foot-pump and a gallon of Fortnum's face-dye; but these days, what with the differentiation panic, I thought they might have changed it to Kipper Purple.

     
  • At 10:53 pm , Blogger David OBrien said...

    Samantha Cameron was 'almost' in tears. She didn't actually cry, but she 'almost' did.

     

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