The Curmudgeon


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Going Abroad

A Banker's Bonus, which had spent the past fifty-seven quarters riding a Tottering Economy and tapping it for funds whenever necessary, abruptly directed its host to pay its fare to Switzerland.

"Surely you don't intend leaving me like this?" pleaded the Tottering Economy.
"Why should I stay?" demanded the Banker's Bonus, as its great sweaty paws efficiently removed the shirt from the Tottering Economy's back. "It's been years since you were strong enough to manufacture anything, and I've been busy expanding all that time. It's a very taxing situation, which I must escape for the sake of my philanthropic enterprises."
"But what is to become of me?" the Tottering Economy whined. "What if I go into a depression?"
"Then you might lose some of that flab which makes you so unattractive," belched the Banker's Bonus.

At this the Tottering Economy suffered a sudden panic and nearly fell flat, causing the Banker's Bonus to wobble slightly.

"Careful!" the Banker's Bonus scolded, as its chins subsided gradually into their accustomed order; "you nearly unbalanced me. If I should go down, the consequences will be incalculable."
"If only I could support myself," mumbled the Tottering Economy, leaning on a nearby Smaller Economy until the latter deflated with a bang; "if only somebody could help a little - "
"You mean you'd allow the government to interfere in our relationship?" asked the Banker's Bonus coldly. "The bond between us two is a sacrament; a threesome with a minister of state would be most distasteful to me."
"Then take me with you!" the Tottering Economy begged, tanking dangerously to the right.
"I fear that would be fiscally unviable," said the Banker's Bonus; "however, I shall be happy to take those parts of you in which I have the most interest."

So the Banker's Bonus took a large axe and used it to accept a few keepsakes, which it devoured en route to its pleasant new home beneath the pavements of Geneva, next door to some charming Nazi gold.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home