The Curmudgeon


Monday, August 24, 2009

A Healthy Climate

A minister in the Department of Delays, Cancellations and Carbon had a private tryst with the head of Britain's largest airport owner a week before the 2007 Climate Camp protest.

The minister, Jim Fitzpatrick, whose name decodes as "an aristocratic bastard who is a follower, supplanter or deceiver", was assured by BAA's chief executive that BAA and the Metropolitan Police, which is noted for its tact and subtlety, had been working closely to ensure that the protesters' rights were respected to a degree appropriate in the circumstances.

"It is nonsense to suggest that the DfT influenced the policing of this demonstration," a spokesbeing for the Department for Profitable Transport said. Experts are thought to be concluding from this that the Government was content for any influencing to be done by BAA.

Before last year's Climate Camp protest, against the Kingsnorth power station in Kent, trusted apparatchiki from the Department for Bonus Extraction and Regulatory Circumvention gave confidential police information on activists to the owner of the cuddly-coal-powered plant.

It is thought that this departmental consideration may have prevented many serious potential injuries among the brave boys who were called upon to do their difficult job in circumstances involving fingers, possible wasps and sitting in cars.

The right to peaceful protest, like free public health and proper state education, is one of many features of the British way of life which New New Labour is keen to talk about respecting.


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