tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65967902012-01-28T00:10:37.229ZYOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.comBlogger26191100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-16698547104040551602012-01-28T00:08:00.001Z2012-01-28T00:10:37.236Z

The fiend Salmond's question in favour of breaking up the United Kingdom has caused a mighty blip in favour of Scotch nationalism and has therefore been universally denounced as loaded and biased. Here an expert provides a word-by-word analysis, showing the fiendish cunning whereby the question has been phrased in order to ensnare the gullible.Do The very first word of the question implies action

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-32338517821979234422012-01-27T18:02:00.000Z2012-01-27T18:03:12.318Z

David Nussbaum, the chief executive of WWF UK, has expressed mild disappointment that the greenest government ever may not be altogether living up to its claims. In 2006, David Nussbaum's charity helped to arrange a photoshoot whereby Daveybloke was driven to the airport, flew to Norway, hugged a husky, flew back to Britain and was driven away from the airport, thereby symbolising the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-86296635740589969522012-01-26T17:47:00.000Z2012-01-26T17:48:23.214Z

Russians have resorted to various guerrilla tactics in protesting the corruption and incompetence of their government, including a sixty-five-metre phallus painted on a St Petersburg drawbridge which, when raised, faced FSB headquarters. Police in Siberia are attempting valiantly to deal with an infraction on a smaller scale, consisting of various toy figures brandishing subversive placards. Much

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-16142243480576795292012-01-25T06:31:00.000Z2012-01-25T06:31:01.018Z

Farewell, Chickyog! O nourishing domainAnd poison of our nation's nasty shits,With all those floating crunchy sweary bits!I fear we shall not know thy like again.Perhaps thou hast attained thy worthy goal;And yet I fear that with thy going henceThe blogomind will grow a bit more dense;The internet will gain a sorry hole.Still, better to part well than stay too long.All yoghurt has, of course, its

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-37158688921615327582012-01-24T18:31:00.000Z2012-01-24T18:32:03.804Z

Government attempts to give the proles a bit of moral backbone have reached such rarefied ethical heights that even some Conservatives are starting to feel queasy. Lord Mackay of Clashfern, who was lord chancellor under the sainted Thatcher and the subsequent interregnum, has registered disquiet at the idea of making people pay for the services of the Child Support Agency. Daveybloke's Cuddly

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-48442195512078473272012-01-23T18:31:00.000Z2012-01-23T18:34:33.370Z

In Westminster there is a clockEmbedded in a tower,Beside a palace where a flockOf sheep and crooks do cower.The pile is leaning by degreesInsidious and small;Let's lock the doors, and chuck the keys,And watch the fucker fall.Gurney Hopflobbage

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-22545468796801376382012-01-22T02:12:00.002Z2012-01-22T02:16:08.717Z

An Involuntary Participant in an Economic Disaster applied to his doctor for relief from his lack of well-being. Because the doctor was also a Trainee Accountant and Junior Financial Efficientiser at various hospitals and related outlets, an appointment was granted after less than seven years."What seems to be the trouble?" asked the doctor, when the Involuntary Participant in an Economic

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-76770582358109670282012-01-21T11:31:00.001Z2012-01-21T11:37:21.885Z

A consultation document has been published, in which the British lobbying industry specifies the maximum level of scrutiny it is prepared to put up with, and trusts Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition to water things down according to taste. Political corruption being one of our few growth industries, the proposals take unerring aim at think-tanks and charities, and also at trade unions, whose

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-88793980470951932592012-01-20T11:48:00.004Z2012-01-20T17:44:06.350Z

Greenwich may lose its status as the world's horological hub thanks to a Conservative back-bencher who has betrayed her party's traditionalist instincts with a proposal to move the country's clocks forward an hour throughout the year. This would place us in the same time zone as the rest of Europe, doubtless to Europe's profound relief at having finally been allowed to catch up with the mainland.

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-37152706623143201682012-01-19T17:56:00.001Z2012-01-19T21:20:45.641Z

Fears are being revived that an ugly right-wing government faced with popular unrest and an economy going into a tailspin might find it expedient to start a fight over a few sheep. Daveybloke has been huffing and puffing to the faithful about making sure our defences are in order, and has annoyed the Argentine government with the claim that it is behaving in a manner reminiscent of the empire for

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-76114310316189984562012-01-18T06:17:00.000Z2012-01-18T06:17:00.573Z

Michael Gove's jolly jape of inflicting a vandalised copy of the Authorised Version on every school in the country has run into much the same sort of trouble as his more recent wizard wheeze of using public money to give some of Daveybloke's relatives a new yacht. Daveybloke is all in favour of the Bible; indeed, our politics is steeped in it, from gay-bashing through militarism to genocide, and

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-71562928440628683022012-01-17T18:25:00.002Z2012-01-17T18:30:57.839Z

An editorial in Liberator, the happily-ignored voice of those activists who still think Liberal Democrat has something to do with being liberal or democratic, has registered incredulity at the management decision not to put up candidates for election as police commissioners, even in places where the London Haystack isn't already ruling by decree. "Is this really the party that was prepared to

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-8850927519782012502012-01-16T18:46:00.000Z2012-01-16T18:47:27.744Z

Jury trials too expensive to waste on petty criminals, ministers sayThe provisions of Magna Carta are far too expensive to have a place in modern Britishness, ministers announced today.Reforms are being considered which will enable certain criminals to be punished more cheaply, in accordance with present-day conceptions of human rights.Originally believed to be inalienable and unconditional,

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-9852769183042172832012-01-15T02:09:00.000Z2012-01-15T02:10:07.918Z

They had learned to wire the human brain, so that by the point of birth any individual could be artificially predisposed in almost any direction the Director of Cerebral Resources might choose. Once birth was accomplished, the implanted predispositions could be nurtured and encouraged; at first by carefully regulated stimulation of the reward centres, then by more subtle and individually tailored

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-6577280441488484052012-01-14T08:09:00.002Z2012-01-14T08:35:49.284Z

That nice Mr Huhne, in his capacity as Deputy Conservative excuse for an energy minister, is giving his masters a bit of a snigger by going to the court of appeal over the Government's plans to cut feed-in tariffs for domestic solar panels. Of course, just as the Deputy Conservatives' vote to increase tuition fees was actually a vote to reduce tuition fees, and just as the Deputy Conservatives'

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-32670263257661145972012-01-13T10:51:00.002Z2012-01-13T10:57:47.313Z

Should Conservative Central Office wish to avail themselves of my propaganda skills, I am available and venal within fairly reasonable limits.

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-53127480521724018312012-01-12T08:42:00.001Z2012-01-12T08:42:29.384Z

Daveybloke's father-in-law has very considerately given the proposed HS2 rail network a boost, after the fashion of Daveybloke's own recent propaganda coups in favour of Scottish independence. As chair of the Old Berkshire Hunt, the fourth Viscount Astor blathers that the new railway is supported mainly by "northern Labour MPs who relish the thought of the beauty of the Chilterns being destroyed"

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-22186046466824636052012-01-11T08:16:00.001Z2012-01-11T14:39:58.445Z

A Caucus and a PrimaryWere racing long and hard.Indeed it was a sight to see:Such glitter, so much lard!The Caucus started in the front;Its way was far from straight.The Primary, with epic grunt,Began a little late."My candidates, they all agree,In tones from smooth to raucous:One nation under God, and free,And stronger!" yelled the Caucus.The Primary came up behind,Responding with a bellow:"Yet

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-18355413302777932952012-01-10T06:28:00.000Z2012-01-10T06:29:13.223Z

Fury at immigration unemployment reportFury erupted at Westminster today as a report by the National Institute of Economic and Social Research threatened to undermine thirty years of mature debate and journalistic intrepidity.The report utilised national insurance registrations by foreign nationals in an attempt to undermine the link between immigration and unemployment.The Department of Work and

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-27793638886418876002012-01-09T06:12:00.003Z2012-01-09T12:42:53.466Z

Here is how Daveybloke and his Cuddly Coalition are going to slim down the fat cats: they aren't. Many of the present Government's policies are either watered-down or pumped-up versions of New Labour policies: watered down if the original resulted from one of New Labour's feeble twitches leftward, pumped up if it resulted from one of New Labour's stronger and more successful attempts to turn the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-11886367925659335462012-01-08T04:42:00.001Z2012-01-08T04:44:16.081Z

Since leaving Downing Street for Gordon to tidy up before the Tories moved in, the Ascended Incarnation of the Reverend Blair has engaged in numerous charitable works; and some uncharitable voices at Tax Research UK, which scrutinises company finances, are now more or less accusing Tony's earthly manifestation of taking accounting lessons from Vatican Incorporated. One company, christened

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-24778926226089198242012-01-07T05:56:00.003Z2012-01-07T06:09:05.160Z

Just when we thought there was no significant difference between the Conservatives and the Deputy Conservatives, conclusive proof has been found in the Dominican Republic that they are not at all the same. Some years ago, when the Deputy Conservatives were still posing as liberal democrats, a nice young man named Michael Brown approached them with a gift of just under two and a half million

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-41129768385250184152012-01-06T07:42:00.003Z2012-01-06T07:44:39.285Z

Now that his plans for electoral reform, protecting the NHS and being at the heart of Europe have gone so well, Wee Nicky has been doling out some useful hints about the likely backdrops for this year's studies in abjection. Foremost among them are tax avoidance and executive pay: Wee Nicky "very much hopes" that George the Progressively Regressive will do the right thing and tell all those

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-55260417848345424132012-01-05T06:52:00.000Z2012-01-05T06:53:31.726Z

Daveybloke's Minister for Mere Science, David Willetts, has proclaimed the Government's ambition to make the UK the "best place in the world to do science"; whereupon, being Daveybloke's Minister for Mere Science, he proclaimed in the next breath that the Government has no intention of doing anything about it. As in so many other matters, it suffices for the Government merely to state its

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-67945272116224465482012-01-04T03:51:00.002Z2012-01-04T07:08:03.299Z

While the four hundredth anniversary of the Authorised Version has been marked in Britain with grovels to Mammon and crass political posturing, a new Norwegian translation of the noted collection of X-rated fairy tales has become a bestseller. Thirty translators, priests and academics were involved in rendering the original Greek and Hebrew into Norwegian, which was then given a stylistic polish

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-46383265915780586082012-01-03T06:25:00.001Z2012-01-03T06:31:22.869Z

An attempt by the tax office to recover the cost of Dave Hartnett's little gift to Goldman Sachs by squeezing small businesses over minor errors has drawn a degree of criticism from some headline-hungry Conservative back-benchers. "It seems as though HMRC sees small businesses as low-lying fruit to meet their targets," blathered the new intake for Witham, who appears to regard fruit as some sort

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-35464420593400722512012-01-02T07:57:00.000Z2012-01-02T08:01:32.381Z

Research by the Chartered Institute of Housing indicates that the deserving poor - those hard-pressed yet hard-working families which have laboured to spew forth our Daveyblokes, our Osbornes, our Alexander Boris de Kosovo Johnsons - may allow themselves a brief period of rejoicing. The welfare cuts which, as of this month, kick in while also kicking down, will result in mass migrations by those

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-50463778951153102892012-01-01T13:01:00.000Z2012-01-01T13:01:03.108Z

The time of resolutions being here,I can confess the one I made last year:So vast a vow, so grandiose a follyAs hubris will essay when times are jolly;Namely to post, come Hell or inundation,One entry per terrestrial rotation.That epic task complete - one post for eachFoul day - it's time you all endured a speech.As is well known, a blogger's life is lonely.Bereft of real society, with onlyVile

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-37214740623783935412011-12-31T12:31:00.000Z2011-12-31T12:31:03.257Z

Farewell then, Old Year! Time ordainsYou now must let go of the reins.At last we have blunderedThrough all your three hundredAnd sixty-five point two five pains.Farewell then, Old Year! Let us borrowA moment to savour the sorrow:As you fall by the way,A new year with leap-dayIs lurking in wait for tomorrow.Farewell then, Old Year! It's aboutThat time when we all raise a shout,For we'll not see

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-2761180012353496812011-12-30T04:43:00.001Z2011-12-30T04:43:44.942Z

A Moral TaleContrary to legend, there were not thousands of swine but a couple of dozen at most; and there were not several swineherds but only one, who made his way home in fear and trembling to relate how his family's entire stock had been lost to the sea on the whim of an eccentric rabbi. His father thrashed him soundly for his carelessness, and later the old man and some of the neighbours

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-35570609436754814312011-12-29T04:39:00.001Z2011-12-29T04:41:06.002Z

Britain's constructive and co-operative relations with its European partners are continuing in the usual fashion as the Ministry of Wogs, Frogs and Huns puts the Boche in their place once again. This time the squabble is about some copies of files belonging to the East German ministry for homeland security, which were obtained by the CIA after the Berlin Wall came down and then handed over to MI5

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-43123923432546730512011-12-28T02:48:00.000Z2011-12-28T02:48:00.698Z

Head Boy Daveybloke looked out,On the mass of Childer.Bullingdons were sprawled about,Toasting Maggie Hilda.Brightly gleamed the Bloke that night,Of the Falklands dreaming,When a rich man came in sight,For a bonus screaming."Hither, Vincent, stand by me,If thou know'st it, telling:Yonder banker, who is he?Where and what his dwelling?""Sire, he lives a square mile henceIn our holy City.""Thank you

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-5830328010547137872011-12-27T02:18:00.001Z2011-12-27T02:18:24.841Z

Local councillors in the Essex district of Tendring, which includes the most deprived single ward in England, have registered annoyance at the Olympics organisers' decision to bypass the place during the relay to deliver the Torch of Tony to its luminous apotheosis. "Despite being less than 60 miles from Stratford, the home of London 2012," complained the councillors, "Tendring and its residents

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-91343596838973699862011-12-26T01:03:00.001Z2011-12-26T01:03:16.842Z

Slaves, be content with what you earn;Look not for earthly riches,And marry so as not to burn,Except for books and witches.Rev. Sorbus Malbarb

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-38433148322274317322011-12-25T01:03:00.001Z2011-12-25T01:03:54.404Z

Nailed up for giving money-changers squabble,By god and followers left in the lurch,Redacted, resurrected for the rabble,And buried most securely in their church.Rev. Sorbus Malbarb

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-87467570239079246452011-12-24T04:03:00.001Z2011-12-24T04:03:46.030Z

At the time of year when a few people still celebrate the humble birth of somebody in whose name churches have long preached the virtues of poverty for others, the City of London Corporation has run up against an irritating hindrance to its doing of St Paul's Cathedral's dirty work. The high court judge who is hearing the case has postponed his verdict until January, despite the fulminations of

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-24963659870138552252011-12-23T14:45:00.002Z2011-12-23T18:03:17.862Z

Those nice people who wanted to sell off the forests are at it again. Among Daveybloke's Christmas reading is a report by Peter Luff, the civil servant in charge of defence procurement, recommending various options to reform the Ministry of Peace. Despite having been run, in the past, by such intellectual giants as Geoff Hoon and Adam Werritty, the Ministry's financial situation is so dire that

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-79185505716987855362011-12-22T19:35:00.001Z2011-12-22T19:35:54.395Z

We weren't in it together, says party manFrance's state prosecutor has opened an investigation into the Nazi-themed stag party attended by the 33-year-old adolescent Conservative MP Adolf Hurley-Burley.The Nazis established a racist police state whose answer to a world-wide economic crisis consisted of military adventurism and oppression of ethnic minorities and political opponents.They are also

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-71742615302458180182011-12-21T18:30:00.001Z2011-12-21T18:30:29.761Z

Daveybloke's hopes of gaining a parliamentary majority from a second rah-rah over the Falklands have been jacked up another notch. The president of Argentina, who is already foreign and a woman and is afflicted with a German-sounding surname, has somehow induced Mercosur, a South American trading bloc, to ban boats with the Falkland Islands flag. "The United Kingdom is a permanent member of the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-18133516203495701642011-12-20T01:48:00.000Z2011-12-20T01:49:19.839Z

Jim Bliss at The Quiet Road has posted a very kind review of my short novel Security, about twenty-four hours in the life of a defender of Western values. Since the writing of it was among the more splenetic periods in a generally ulcerated year, I'm paradoxically encouraged at the "dollop of resignation" which Jim detects in the book's tone. Although he brushes off my thanks in the comments, I

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-15934453044139056902011-12-19T14:30:00.000Z2011-12-19T14:31:13.970Z

Just on the off-chance that anyone's still listening out there, Wee Nicky's latest appeal for re-admission to the human race includes a promise to reform the House of Lords, thus signalling that yet another plank of Deputy Conservative policy is to be torn up and fed to the worms. Wee Nicky's rhetoric was a disturbing mix of Hollywood slang and Brownite deadwood: "if you want change stuff, you

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-32729933187053444662011-12-18T00:18:00.000Z2011-12-18T00:26:50.142Z

Dear aliens, pause briefly in your flying;Observe our tomb, if we do not impose.We might have tried to keep our race from dying,But sought instead to profit by its throes.Orpod Spangle

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-73722349449386464572011-12-17T02:38:00.000Z2011-12-17T02:41:09.775Z

Some Anglican clergypersons have woken up to the possibility of the Authorised Version's four hundredth anniversary being mainly associated with the name of Michael Gove; and, in the time-honoured Anglican fashion, have resolved the threat to their Church's dignity by capping mediocre farce with bad farce. Britain's Head Boy has been invited up to Oxford for a bit of a burble about God and things

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-42304785526864211742011-12-16T12:48:00.001Z2011-12-16T12:50:36.470Z

Whether in moist pre-election mode or in his more recent swivel-eyed incarnation, Daveybloke has told us many times what a dreadful mess the previous administration made of British society; which no doubt explains why the latest debrokenising measures to be inflicted on a backsliding populace have been cannibalised wholesale from New Labour. Having suddenly discovered a spare £448 million down

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-40934129692367305432011-12-15T18:17:00.000Z2011-12-15T18:18:02.679Z

Britain's leading liberal newspaper reports the latest official end of the Iraq war much as it reported the beginning, regurgitating the aggressors' press releases with an occasional coy hint that everything might not have gone quite so well as it could. Despite two elections which were pronounced democratic by the likes of George W Bush and Tony Blair, and despite lots and lots of money in aid

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-89761534001808963162011-12-14T19:13:00.003Z2011-12-14T19:40:22.097Z

With all that's been going on, be it Europe withdrawing from Britain or Christmas lasting four months instead of just two and a half, or even Werritty's War bubbling nicely on the horizon, I am sure we've all found time to be glad of the manifold life-oriented improvements which have come about thanks to Daveybloke's Big Society thingy, even if many of us are a little hard put to give a name to

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-7754218627397712702011-12-13T13:51:00.001Z2011-12-13T13:51:56.468Z

A report into neuroscience and the law has once again pointed up the dangers of mixing the moral and political with the merely scientific. Scientists have discovered that children and adolescents are less mature than adults, and some have reasoned from this that "the age of criminal responsibility in the UK is unreasonably low, and the evidence of individual differences suggests that an arbitrary

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-58047687310195518012011-12-12T18:25:00.002Z2011-12-12T18:27:26.773Z

Daveybloke's Cuddly Conservatives are following up Friday's diplomatic coup with a brusque assertion of their rights as absentee landlords over buildings that don't belong to them. Since twenty-six members of the EU have cut themselves loose from the mainstream, Daveybloke and his chums see no reason why they should be allowed to use EU institutions or buildings to conduct their nefarious

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-32882401093568305792011-12-11T14:58:00.001Z2011-12-11T14:58:33.136Z

Contrary to what one might expect, it seems quite possible that Wee Nicky does feel a certain genuine irritation at Daveybloke's bumbling arrogance in Brussels. Despite Wee Nicky's urgent need to be accepted as a true and paid-up member of the Bullingdon Club, there are one or two cultural obstacles. Daveybloke, for example, has little use for foreigners except as the stuff of stage comedy,

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-24716389385644369032011-12-10T13:54:00.001Z2011-12-10T13:55:50.395Z

With a quarter of England and Wales at risk of fuel poverty, a twenty-six per cent rise in complaints over the last three months has led to much heartache among the Big Six energy cartel. EDF brought in a new billing system, failed to explain it properly to its customers, and then brought further opprobrium upon itself by economising on its call centre staff. EDF is one of only three members of

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-64715473264490797292011-12-09T13:17:00.004Z2011-12-09T13:52:26.409Z

Since Wee Nicky is apparently out emptying the bins or something (one dare not hope that he has retired to a small room with a bowl of muesli and a revolver), it has fallen to Daveybloke's cuddly Secretary of State for Belize, Willem den Haag, to give out the press release about the Deputy Conservatives' latest degradation. He got off to a rollicking start with, "This is a prime minister and a

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-61352302200026398132011-12-08T18:42:00.001Z2011-12-08T18:42:39.007Z

We are all aware, because right-wing ideologues and other reliable sources have hinted at it now and then, that the private sector is much more efficient than the state sector at providing proper healthcare. This is because the private sector has competition, unlike the National Health Service which enjoys an unfair advantage because of people like Twizzler Lansley who are obsessed with saving it

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-59790004787225969002011-12-07T18:55:00.002Z2011-12-07T19:01:29.955Z

Although Daveybloke has promised a touch of "bulldog spirit" when he toddles off to Brussels to teach the Frog and the Hun a thing or two about running an economy, and although various things starting with bull are certain to manifest themselves, this is clearly not enough for the intellectual giants of his party's Save the Pound, Keep Britain English, Two World Wars and One World Cup gang. The

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-64504538839356899592011-12-06T18:20:00.000Z2011-12-06T18:21:14.237Z

Relationship was "completely innocent waste of time"The woman at the centre of the latest Tory sex scandal has spoken out defending the Prime Minister against allegations of wrongdoing.Fashion icon Belle Pottinger, who famously advised former PM Margaret Thatcher that even a foaming right-wing harridan could win a general election if she lowered her voice once in a while, is accused of having

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-3692127166362875922011-12-05T18:19:00.001Z2011-12-05T18:19:50.887Z

Since everything has gone so well with Twizzler Lansley's anti-NHS bill, Britain's Head Boy has decided that it's time for us all to bustle on to the next phase of privatisation so that NHS patients can do something useful instead of lying around in bed all day. Daveybloke wants the NHS to give private firms access to patient records, apparently on the grounds that it'll be cheaper than buying

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-38747550933627066922011-12-04T04:02:00.001Z2011-12-04T04:02:52.730Z

A Tale"You're not my usual dentist," observed Gumm as he walked in. "Where's Dr O'Cane?"The stranger in the surgery was small, elderly and without a visible assistant. He bowed his grey head while ushering Gumm to the chair. "Something most unfortunate," he said. "Dr O'Cane has been called away at short notice. He hopes to be back very soon.""I've never even seen you before," said Gumm, perching

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-78031643058765775492011-12-03T15:58:00.001Z2011-12-03T15:58:23.700Z

In Daveybloke's Big Society thingy, as we all know by now, the rich have rights and the poor have duties; accordingly, Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition looks set to fail with a clear conscience in its legal duty to eliminate fuel poverty in the next five years. That nice Mr Huhne has accused the major energy suppliers of malpractice, and has ordered those pensioners who haven't yet sold their homes

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-34137923860684549832011-12-02T14:11:00.000Z2011-12-02T14:12:38.351Z

Councillors in the Hertfordshire town of Bishop's Stortford have provided yet another example of the Conservative approach to community relations and international amity by sending "polite" letters to Villiers-sur-Marne and Friedberg, the town's twins among the Euro-wogs, formally breaking off the relationship. Town-twinning began more than a century ago in this country, but it took off after the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-16810344854223546512011-12-01T18:52:00.002Z2011-12-01T18:58:33.147Z

Lord Woolf's inquiry into links between Libya and the London School of Economics has found a "disconcerting number of failures in communication and governance" over the question of whether the late lamented Colonel Gaddafi's son Saif was a statesman in waiting or the deadly foaming spawn of an irredeemably mad dog. A salesbeing from the peacekeeping company BAE gave Saif some help with his

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-8149340611861725252011-11-30T18:33:00.002Z2011-11-30T22:10:30.381Z

The greenest government ever is supporting British industry in its usual fashion, by allowing foreign companies to poison us for profit. GE Hitachi wish to build a new reactor at Sellafield in order to use up some plutonium the Government has lying around. GE Hitachi refuse to say how much their proposal will cost or how much profit it will make before the taxpayer has to bail them out; but they

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-18561868114332869142011-11-29T18:28:00.002Z2011-11-29T18:32:09.762Z

Sir Osborne he arose this day,And donned his suit and purple tie,And toddled off into the fray,To do, and let some others die.A public dragon roamed the landAnd roared that things were far too tough.Sir Osborne took the thing in hand,Because his chums weren't rich enough.Sir Osborne's chums most sorely fearedThe dragon and its dreadful fame.They knew not why it had appeared,But had some thoughts

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-5025666874637150422011-11-28T13:14:00.001Z2011-11-28T13:16:22.879Z

The Chancellor's little orange doormat has been smacked down for saying that the carbon capture and storage budget might be used instead to slow the general decay of our infrastructure. CCS used to be seen as one of the low-carbon technologies in which Britain could be a pioneer; but the major fossil fuel companies decided not to bother with it, and state interference would have been contrary to

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-74718798393401978822011-11-27T13:07:00.000Z2011-11-27T13:08:15.343Z

With typical ingratitude, officials from developing countries have been complaining about the tactics used by the civilised world at climate change summits. A report by the World Development Movement includes various outpourings of hatred and envy from representatives of nations which have yet to develop a correct attitude towards enlightened values and market forces. Intransigent and backsliding

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-49769092215362641782011-11-26T13:16:00.002Z2011-11-26T13:38:06.714Z

Michael Gove, who as a Conservative minister and former Murdoch Times leader-spouter knows all about moral and philosophical and literary thingummies, proposes to send every state school in England a copy of the Authorised Version by next Easter. Not only that, but these Bibles will be rather special: each will contain a two-line introduction which Michael Gove and his little men are even now

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-40247197791884839192011-11-25T00:04:00.001Z2011-11-25T00:04:44.612Z

Warning. Honest pornographers and others of a comparatively sensitive disposition may require eyeball cleanser and/or mind-bleach after viewing this post.They were usually too busy making money, so in general they left such dirty work to the voluntary sector. Still, it was the conference season; liaison was a buzz-word that year and we're human too the sales pitch; so they gave it a try in the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-74327054105985599972011-11-24T17:34:00.000Z2011-11-24T17:35:44.948Z

I am sure our hearts all bleed for Sir Philip Green, whose retail empire has suffered a decline in profits of nearly forty per cent. Green, whom Daveybloke commissioned last year to pontificate upon the inefficiency of those parts of the national economy not owned by Sir Philip Green, stuck loyally to the Government's line and blamed the weather: "The warmest October and November on record have

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-47351112115086263852011-11-23T20:02:00.004Z2011-11-23T22:22:39.257Z

It appears that his no doubt onerous duties as Labour expenses claimant for Leicester East and chair of the Home Affairs select committee are not keeping Keith Vaz busy enough to prevent his straying into Liam Fox territory over the video game Modern Warfare 3. Fox, it will be remembered, did some huffing and puffing last year about a game in which players could opt to be the Taliban: "I am

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-57106707408559599982011-11-22T17:17:00.000Z2011-11-22T17:18:00.654Z

The Government is to regret officially, through the European Court of Human Rights, the death in police custody of Christopher Alder, who choked to death in the presence of five officers in Hull thirteen years ago. Alder was an ex-paratrooper and a decorated Falklands veteran, which makes the indiscretion slightly more embarrassing than the normal run of these things. He took eleven minutes to

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-82568738535055699052011-11-21T17:29:00.001Z2011-11-21T17:32:12.779Z

An academy in Leeds has put up a mural showing Carol Ann Duffy's poem "Mrs Schofield's GCSE". Mrs Schofield was an exams invigilator who complained about another poem of Duffy's, "Education for Leisure", on the usual censor's grounds that depiction equals recommendation; in this case, of knife crime. "I think it is absolutely horrendous," squealed Schofield; "what sort of message is that to give

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-47352951190493141462011-11-20T16:25:00.001Z2011-11-20T16:25:34.035Z

Now that the original Milk Snatcher has received the Hollywood treatment (however strange the casting of Meryl Streep rather than, say, Anthony Hopkins or Robert Englund), the spiritual dead-enders of the old bag's ignoble house are indulging in a bit of opportune fulmination about a PFI-style scam in the juvenile resource lacto-provision industry. The extra costs amount to ten million pounds a

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-45984948608522479112011-11-19T13:54:00.002Z2011-11-19T13:56:42.947Z

Daveybloke's cuddly communities secretary and pro-Christian pusher of the Winterval myth, Eric Pickles, has issued a new emergency decree in the war on multiculturalism. It appears that there are far too many Indians in the Indian restaurant business, and Eric Pickles wants it stopped, and stopped now. Rather than letting market forces fight it out among themselves, he is setting up a college so

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-57555421426674358652011-11-18T18:41:00.001Z2011-11-18T18:41:48.974Z

Lawyer warns British justice not to get ideasNews International has brought its moral force to bear on the phone hacking case by warning against a "witch hunt" by victims.The newspaper group, whose passion for justice was perhaps most famously manifested in the Milly Dowler and Joanna Yeates cases, is facing more than sixty civil actions over the activities of a single rogue journalist with up to

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-63471461540528532662011-11-17T18:10:00.001Z2011-11-17T18:13:58.746Z

Labour's attempt to regain its coveted status as the electable wing of the Conservative Party received a boost today as the Upper (formerly Lower) Miliband set out a five-point plan for doing as little as can be got away with. Claiming endorsement from both Bob Diamond and Rowan Williams (behold, the shark hath lain down with the sheepish), he called for finance and the real economy to re-think

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-23938844692609980162011-11-16T01:41:00.003Z2011-11-17T10:53:27.633Z

Thomas Tessier notes the death of Les Daniels at the age of sixty-eight, and links to a New York Times obituary which expends most of its length on Daniels' work about the history of comic books and superheroes, dismissing in seventeen words his five superb novels about Don Sebastian de Villanueva. Bizarrely, the Times refers to Sebastian as a "globe-trotting, time-traveling vampire", as though

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-6946575012580390622011-11-15T19:12:00.003Z2011-11-15T19:13:58.250Z

Those chirpy cheeps, so bright and clear,Which greet the morning and the night:-The mating call: fuck me, my dear;The warning call: fuck off or fight.Caprimulgus Gleet

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-50393842227349027482011-11-14T19:36:00.000Z2011-11-14T19:39:05.448Z

The Department of Faith Schools and Fee-Payers is all of a Gove yet again, this time over the alleged impact of Daveybloke's cuddly cuts programme on the Sure Start children's centres. Labour claims that almost fifty centres have either closed or been marked for closure this year, and that budgets have been cut in eighty-three per cent of England's local authorities. A Government spokesbeing

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-44357341560822333942011-11-13T05:18:00.002Z2011-11-13T05:21:08.768Z

Circle Health is run by a former banker for the corporate tax dodgers Goldman Sachs, is backed by a couple of hedge-fund gamblers and has been making losses for the past seven years; all of which doubtless explains why Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition regards Circle Health as the ideal company to pioneer Twizzler Lansley's privatisation of the National Health Service by taking over the running of a

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-62469868605366495702011-11-12T02:43:00.002Z2011-11-12T02:48:22.287Z

One might hope, if one didn't know better at my age, that a year and a half in office would enable even the Bullingdon Club and its pet oiks to realise that government is rarely so simple a matter as the tabloids and other repositories of national wisdom would have us believe. Unemployment is not always a simple matter of the proles' lacking moral fibre; public health is not always a simple

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-24630392943600954502011-11-11T11:00:00.001Z2011-11-11T11:00:10.424Z

Remember what they sacrificed for you,To halt the depredations of the Hun.Remember, for a minute or for two;And then remember that the good guys won.Remember that they gave up everything,Enduring such as we can hardly tell;They died for freedom, Empire, God and King,And sundry hard-faced men did very well.Remember, they were selfless, tough and bold;Remember that they fought to end all war.They

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-71986200200287979742011-11-10T18:17:00.001Z2011-11-10T18:18:50.741Z

The French state energy company EDF has been fined for illegal spying on Greenpeace. French officialdom has taken a robust line with Greenpeace before, leading to the bombing of Rainbow Warrior by the secret service and the death of a photographer, Fernando Pereira, in 1985. Five years ago EDF hired a private detective agency run by a former member of the secret service; the agency hacked the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-80081643434957937992011-11-09T19:14:00.000Z2011-11-09T19:15:13.108Z

It looks as if Wee Nicky's moral compass has been doing the swirly thing again. In August the Independent reported that British banks are being left to regulate themselves when it comes to investing in the arms industry, and that RBS, of which the Government owns eighty-three per cent, has put more than a hundred million pounds of taxpayers' money into the likes of Lockheed Martin and in the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-40170438391420715102011-11-08T19:05:00.001Z2011-11-08T19:11:20.865Z

A committed Christian, who has so thoroughly absorbed the teachings of his Saviour as to ascend to the peerage through ordering people to kill other people on the whim of some jumped-up advertising men, has been preaching that the civilians need knocking into shape. "In past generations," proclaimed General Lord Dannatt, "it was often assumed that young men and women coming into the armed forces

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-86871912501063086272011-11-07T19:08:00.003Z2011-11-07T19:10:41.016Z

Those staunch self-regulators at the Press Complaints Commission have administered a quick kick in the groin to the ever-hapless Gordon Brown; better yet, like all the most enjoyable kicks in the groin, it has been delivered under the guise of a soothing balm. Last July the Sunday Torygraph claimed that Brown, with his usual talent for calm strategic thinking, had threatened to "smash the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-89438384354473720452011-11-06T04:08:00.004Z2011-11-06T04:12:38.233Z

Daveybloke's regrettable Minister for Work and Pensions Withdrawal, Iain Duncan Smith, has overheard some seditious remarks in the Commons tea rooms and, like the good little swot he is, has gone straight to the Head Boy to tattle. It appears that Daveybloke's plot to reduce the number of parliamentary constituencies, thereby depriving Labour of up to twenty seats and formally euthanising the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-17198880572505488172011-11-05T06:38:00.000Z2011-11-05T06:39:12.746Z

Our House of Common Criminals is pastAll thought or care to halt the City's games;And yet there's little sign someone may blastThat pile of smirking thieves into the Thames.They've cut adrift many unworthy lives;Six hundred fifty more will add no gloom.Now that they've bust us with their chopping-knives,Return, good master Fawkes, with a big boom.Mobberly Grotcher

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-50826639569795103662011-11-04T19:07:00.000Z2011-11-04T19:09:52.534Z

The dead German artist Martin Kippenberger, whose blasphemous frog caused the Vatican some discomfort three years ago, has now suffered retribution at the humble hands of an enthusiastic cleaning lady. Although cleaning staff were supposed to keep a distance of at least twenty centimetres, and although the work in question is helpfully titled "When it Starts Dripping from the Ceiling", the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-32932390004583312912011-11-03T19:03:00.001Z2011-11-03T19:05:10.419Z

A "maverick Conservative peer", which in the present context could mean anything from somebody afflicted with occasional independence of mind, through a mediocrity who was once caught in bed with an Airedale, to an ultramontane birch-and-rope wog-bomber with Maastricht engraved on its heart, is pushing a bill to cleanse Britain's forced-entry laws of excessive Britishness. Baron Selsdon has

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-59805051723322172322011-11-02T05:30:00.001Z2011-11-02T05:30:25.685Z

A report by the Commons select committee on health contains a few uncomfortable questions for Twizzler Lansley to snigger at before he scrunches the document up, chucks it at Paul Burstow and galumphs his way happily onward. For one thing, the committee strokes its collective chin a bit over the Twizzler's idea of protecting frontline services, which seems mostly to involve demolishing frontline

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-58750990885973548492011-11-01T06:19:00.002Z2011-11-01T06:21:28.284Z

Doubtless emboldened by the debate recently granted for the appeasement of Daveybloke's Little Englanders, a significant percentage of Wee Nicky's remaining dupes have registered a certain discontent via the time-honoured Liberal Democrat device of writing a letter to the Guardian. Apparently still labouring under the delusion that the Government has some sort of interest in reducing the deficit,

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-30191871982014936682011-10-31T14:30:00.000Z2011-10-31T14:31:49.121Z

The public administration select committee, which monitors Whitehall for signs of efficiency, has just discovered that, despite the recent departure of Liam Fox, the Government is wasting public money on pointless ministers. Certainly no government which includes the likes of Michael Gove, Eric Pickles and Wee Nicky could be accused of an excess of justifiable expense; but it appears that

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-17197524554928805842011-10-30T16:39:00.001Z2011-10-30T16:41:28.535Z

Publication of a report by the St Paul's Institute into the moral character of bankers has been delayed by the cathedral authorities on the grounds that, what with all the public concern about the moral character of bankers these days, its light would be hidden under a bushel. Supposedly, the report raises "profound concerns about the banking sector's willingness to accept responsibility for the

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-74421640267028433222011-10-29T14:48:00.002+01:002011-10-29T14:59:58.048+01:00

Daveybloke, the Cuddly Conservative, has evidently been informed by his handlers that he could do with a bit more of the common touch. Accordingly, he has whipped up the equine zombie that is the Big Society thingy and gone clippety-cloppety-squish to the graveyard to dig for souvenirs of the good old days. And what do you suppose he found there, boys and girls? A rusty old medal, named for a

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-21532296132421125392011-10-28T15:13:00.001+01:002011-10-28T15:23:58.241+01:00

As one would expect from the greenest government ever, Daveybloke's Cuddly Coalition does not intend to stop at mild rebuke of consumers for failing to keep the energy cartel in line, or at giving BP a license to slick up the Shetlands. Oh, good heavens, no. A premature ejaculation, hastily wiped away, from the Department of Energy and Climate Change, sets out cuts of more than fifty per cent in

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-23991680304902516822011-10-27T04:11:00.002+01:002011-10-27T04:20:54.832+01:00

Although the aboriginal peoples of Australia evolved and maintained what modern anthropologeeks widely classify as a form of blogosphere over the space of some twenty thousand years, Europeans were at first slow to recognise the fact. This cultural insensitivity can be blamed, at least in part, on the state of the European blogosphere at the time of the continent's discovery. English blogs in

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-22773992664695231952011-10-26T14:02:00.004+01:002011-10-26T15:00:02.479+01:00

With Remembrance Sunday a couple of weeks away, and with a desperate Treasury plunging into its last resort of printing money to keep the bankers' bonuses up to their accustomed standard, the Government has made clear its respect and gratitude towards those who die in its wars by clawing back money from the family of a soldier who was imprudent enough to be killed before the end of the month. The

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-35717993042834080272011-10-25T00:45:00.001+01:002011-10-25T00:47:28.109+01:00

Well, that didn't take long, did it? As rivers flow into the sea, and as hosepipe ban horrors give way to snowflake damage fury, and as dogs return to their vomit, so the modern Conservative Party reverts inevitably to its downhill, hysterical, barking self. The No Longer Nasty Party hasn't been much in evidence since May 2010; the Not Awfully Bright Party has made a spectacular resurgence via

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-51357500159442273512011-10-24T16:42:00.001+01:002011-10-24T18:16:35.925+01:00

Frankly, I think there's far too much sex and violence gets by in the name of entertainment. I mean, I go to the theatre to be taken out of myself. I don't want to see lust and rape and incest and sodomy! I can get all that at home.Beyond the FringePeople are walking out of a modern-dress revival of a 1963 stage play, citing "utter filth and depravity". I haven't seen the production, and for all

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-23054826897368551292011-10-23T13:29:00.003+01:002011-10-23T13:43:48.334+01:00

The Conservative chair of the Commons select committee on health has proclaimed that the Government's protection of front-line NHS services will, in fact, involve the reduction of front-line NHS services, and has also noted with commendable honesty and more than a little understatement that "very little of the solution" to the Health Service's problems has to do with Twizzler Lansley's Health and

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-15186012288052124762011-10-22T13:40:00.000+01:002011-10-22T13:41:13.138+01:00

With characteristic Anglican eagerness to get on the wrong side of every debate, the dean of St Paul's Cathedral has requested the protesters occupying his front yard to vacate as quickly as possible, ostensibly on health and safety grounds. The Right Reverend Graeme Knowles stressed that the cathedral had maintained good relations with the protesters; but Christians are required to love their

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6596790.post-45732291591043330522011-10-21T13:52:00.000+01:002011-10-21T13:53:10.401+01:00

Well, isn't this comforting. The Reverend Blair has sufficiently recovered from the demise of his fellow pacifier in Libya to offer his services in helping to "cement the peace in Spain", now that ETA has announced an end to its armed campaign. Tony believes that the business of weapons decommissioning and detainee processing will require an expert's touch; and by the grace of Providence Tony

Philiphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18076353733931722397noreply@blogger.com2